It’s okay to talk
Content note: this update discusses suicide and mental health.
One man in the UK dies by suicide every 90 minutes.
Sometimes statistics can say more than words alone.
At our latest Wellbeing Group meeting, Sandy Main from ANDYSMANCLUB talked about the charity and shared his own story.
Sandy was the person who was always joking and making people laugh. He was the life and soul of his workplace. So, when he attempted suicide, people were shocked. They hadn't known he was struggling.
His experience reinforced one of the most important messages from the session: we don't always know what someone else is going through.
One of the things he encouraged us to do was "ask twice" - to take a moment to check in again if someone says they're fine, and let them know you're genuinely there to listen.
Sandy knows first-hand how important that can be. He was supported by ANDYSMANCLUB and now works for the charity, helping other men to talk about what is troubling them and find support.
Remembering Andy
ANDYSMANCLUB was established following the death by suicide of 23-year-old Andy Roberts and has grown to provide free peer-to-peer support for men across the UK.
You don’t need to be suicidal or have a diagnosed mental health condition to go along. Men attend for all sorts of reasons. The groups offer a safe space to talk openly about what’s going on in your life, without judgement - or just listen if you’re not ready to talk.
Locally four groups meet every Monday, apart from Bank Holidays, at 7pm in Grangemouth, Bo’ness, Hallglen and Stenhousemuir. There’s tea, biscuits and no pressure to talk. The charity also offers online sessions.
Sandy told us the ultimate ambition is for the charity not to be needed, because men feel able to talk and know where to get help when they need it.
There was another personal connection around the table.
Willie Tollins, Unite The Union rep and frontline colleague, has also been supported by ANDYSMANCLUB. It was Willie who suggested bringing the charity into the Council so others could benefit from hearing the support on offer.
His idea has the backing of the Wellbeing Group and senior leaders, and work is now underway to pilot a programme that would see ANDYSMANCLUB initially speak with frontline colleagues.
Kenneth Lawrie, Chief Executive, said:
It’s so important when people come forward with ideas like Willie’s, that we take the time to listen. That’s the job of this group and of leaders to take ideas around wellbeing seriously and do what we can to help. This pilot isn’t about ticking a box. It’s about genuinely trying to make a difference.
Alison Durnan, Chair of the Wellbeing Group, added:
Sandy’s words hit us all hard, but they were important to hear. And he left us with something practical that we can all do - ask someone if they're okay and they say they're fine, ask again. Let them know you're really asking and you're there to listen.
If you need support
Whatever you're going through, a Samaritan will face it with you. The charity is available 24 hours a day, 365 days a year.
☎️116 123
Whatever the issue, personal or work-related, you don't have to face it alone. Our confidential Employee Assistance Programme provides support and guidance to help you find a way forward.
You can contact the confidential Employee Assistance Helpline 24-hours a day, 365 days a year.
☎️ 0330 380 0658
Offering free to attend peer-to-peer support groups across the United Kingdom and online, the chairty wants to end the stigma surrounding men’s mental health and help men through the power of conversation. #ITSOKAYTOTALK